What separates leaders who inspire growth from those who stay stuck in cycles of frustration?
If the people at the top aren’t growing, reflecting, and willing to face uncomfortable truths, no system in the world will stick.
That’s what we unpacked on a recent episode of the Endless Customers Podcast with Thomas Ahern, Executive Coach at IMPACT. Our conversation dug into emotional intelligence, the role of coaching, and why this “soft stuff” is often the difference between teams that talk about change and teams that actually make it happen. Together, we explored how leaders can reflect, grow, and build cultures of trust that bring the Endless Customers System™ to life.
Thomas opened the conversation with a deceptively simple question.
“Hey, am I okay? I mean, great business leaders think about that a lot. It’s almost like taking an inward journey. Do I have the courage, the resilience, and the grit to dig deeper?”
That question gets right to the heart of emotional intelligence, which Thomas broke down into two parts.
Put simply, it’s about knowing yourself and understanding others. When leaders take time to reflect and build these skills, everything from meetings to major company decisions improves.
For me, this struck a personal chord. My wife often tells me that I’m very empathetic. Sometimes I struggle with feeling other people’s emotions so much that it’s hard to control how it affects me. If someone on my team is upset, it’s almost impossible for me to move on until I help them work through it.
If you’ve ever carried your team’s stress home, you know what he means. Empathy is powerful, but unchecked, it can become what Thomas calls “ruinous empathy.” That’s when you care so much that you lose perspective and struggle to make clear decisions.
Healthy leadership means balancing compassion with boundaries. You need to care deeply about your team, but stay grounded enough to guide them forward.
And emotional intelligence shows up in everyday business life. A manager with low self-awareness might get defensive in a meeting and shut down the conversation. A self-aware manager pauses, takes a breath, and invites more input. A salesperson with low inter-intelligence might bulldoze through their pitch without noticing the buyer looks confused. A tuned-in salesperson slows down, asks clarifying questions, and earns trust.
“The data is pretty clear,” Thomas explained. “When you put this stuff together, you’re going to make better decisions. People are going to respond to you better. You’ll run things better.”
One thing we always emphasize at IMPACT is that Endless Customers isn’t just a marketing checklist. It’s a cultural shift. You’re not only publishing pricing content or producing videos. You’re changing how your company communicates and earns trust.
That kind of change is exciting, but it can also be uncomfortable. Employees bring fears and doubts when old habits are challenged. Leaders need emotional intelligence to navigate those feelings and keep the team aligned.
Thomas shared an example of a business owner who was considering launching Endless Customers while also implementing a new CRM system. His empathy for his staff made him hesitant. Was it too much at once? Would his people burn out?
It was a tough call. On one hand, delaying made sense. On the other hand, tackling both together could accelerate growth. What stood out was not the tactical debate but the leader’s awareness of how change would affect his team. That’s emotional intelligence in action.
As Thomas put it, “We’re not just putting aluminum siding on a house. We’re impacting people’s lives and how they go about their journey inside the company.”
How coaching accelerates leadership growth
I asked Thomas why coaching makes such a difference for leaders who are already investing in training. His answer was clear.
“Most business leaders are training. But when you add coaching to that training, there’s like a 22 percent increase in performance, satisfaction, and productivity. Coaching and training hand in hand is rocket fuel.”
Think about professional athletes. They train daily, but the world’s best also have coaches who see blind spots they can’t. Business works the same way. Without an outside perspective, it’s easy to drift into bad habits, even when you’re working hard.
This is what Angela Duckworth calls deliberate practice in her book Grit. It’s not just repetition. It’s repetition guided by feedback that pushes you to the next level. Coaching makes that possible in business.
Still, many leaders hesitate. “There are misconceptions,” Thomas explained. “People think you’re weak if you have a coach, or that nothing’s really broken, so you don’t need one. Or they’re afraid to be vulnerable.”
And that fear shows up in real ways. Some leaders worry their team will see them differently if they ask for help. Others are afraid of slowing down revenue if they “pause” to focus on growth. Still others don’t want to admit they don’t have all the answers. But those fears, left unchecked, keep businesses stuck.
The leaders who lean in are the ones who grow fastest. Coaching creates what Thomas calls “radical candor” in a safe space, where feedback is honest and supportive.
I can tell you from experience that the most teachable business moments don’t come when everything is going smoothly. They come in the messy times, when you fail or when something doesn’t go quite right. Those are the moments that stick with you, if you’re willing to reflect and grow.
Thomas also shared a powerful coaching story.
He worked with a family-run business where the CEO’s son was the top salesperson. On the surface, things looked good. But the son consistently undermined the agreed sales process. The rest of the team felt frustrated, but no one wanted to confront the boss about his child.
Through coaching, Thomas helped the CEO see how tolerating one person’s behavior was hurting the whole company. “For me, it was like poof!” Thomas said. “People felt so much better that the ostrich was no longer. We were finally having the conversation everyone wanted to have, but couldn’t.”
The result was healthier boundaries, new expectations, and a more collaborative sales team. It was the kind of breakthrough that rarely happens without an outside coach.
How do leaders move from good to great?
Coaching isn’t only for companies in trouble. Sometimes it’s for leaders who are already doing well but want to go further.
Thomas compared it to his Ironman training. “I didn’t hire a coach because I got injured. I hired a coach because I had a dream. I knew I didn’t know what I didn’t know.”
That resonates with me. Hosting this podcast was the same way. I’ve always been most comfortable behind the camera. To suddenly step into the role of host was uncomfortable at first. If you go back to our earliest episodes, you’ll see the growing pains. But with practice, feedback, and support, I’ve gotten better. And a year from now, I’ll look back and say the same thing again.
Businesses face the same challenge. You might already be profitable, but revenue has plateaued. The same problems keep showing up. Culture feels stagnant. Coaching is the spark that helps leaders see blind spots and break through that plateau.
And let’s be honest: leadership can be lonely. Thomas didn’t sugarcoat it. “Leaders don’t always get the right feedback because they’re the boss. People tell them what they want to hear. But when it comes from someone independent, who’s committed to their growth, it changes everything.”
That’s why I believe so strongly in having a coach. CEOs often talk about how lonely it is at the top. But it doesn’t have to be. The energy you bring into a room ripples through the whole company. If you show up nervous or scattered, that spreads. If you show up confident and centered, that empowers everyone.
Start leading with emotional intelligence
If you remember one thing from this conversation, let it be Thomas’s words: “If it doesn’t live in you, it can’t live through you.”
Here’s what that means for you as a leader:
And here’s my invitation to you: take a moment this week to reflect. Ask yourself honestly, “Am I okay as a leader?” Think about how you’re showing up in meetings. Ask a trusted colleague or family member what they notice about your energy. Write down one habit you could change to be more present for your team.
These small steps may seem simple, but they’re where transformation begins. At IMPACT, we’ve seen it time and time again. Leaders who invest in their growth, open themselves to feedback, and embrace emotional intelligence are the ones whose teams thrive.
Want help building emotional intelligence and leadership habits that bring Endless Customers to life? Let’s talk about how coaching with IMPACT can help you and your team grow.
Connect with Thomas Ahern
I coach business owners, sales teams, and mission-driven professionals to break through limiting behaviors, sharpen skills, and achieve lasting success.
As a former Business Owner, Chief Marketing Officer, Head of Sales, and Educational Psychologist, I understand the science of human behavior and the art of leadership. My coaching blends real-world strategy with deep psychological insight to drive meaningful transformation, empowering individuals and teams to reach their full potential.
Connect with Thomas on LinkedIn
Why is emotional intelligence important for business leaders?
Because it helps you manage your own emotions, understand others, and make better decisions that strengthen trust and culture.
Is hiring a coach a sign of weakness?
No. The best leaders and athletes invest in coaches because they know growth requires outside perspective and accountability.
What results can coaching deliver?
Research shows leaders who combine training with coaching see a 22% boost in performance, productivity, and satisfaction.
How do I know if I need a coach?
If you feel stuck, keep facing the same problems, or want to grow beyond your current success, coaching can provide the push you need.