alternative – their purpose now is clear; to induce laughter (or more importantly, change.)
10 Outbound Marketing Memes Worthy of a Chuckle
1. Email Blasts to Purchased Lists
"Everyone look under your seats....an email!!"
Thankfully Oprah isn't employed by your agency of choice, otherwise two things would happen. One, there'd be a helluva lot more tears shed, and two, we'd all be getting emails of the same variety.
There aren't many things more irritating than receiving irrelevant emails. Straight to the trash bin it goes, marked as spam. Word to the wise; segment your emails. Blasting the same message to purchased lists is not only annoying, but extremely ineffective.
2. Banner Advertising
Spending valuable marketing budget on banner ads, despite its increasing ineffectiveness, is something only Lloyd and Harry would do.
"Banner blindness" is real, as we've all become fairly adept at ignoring the banner of web pages due to its track history of always containing paid ads. We're looking for our own resources to assist our buying process, not what you want us to see. Therefore, we simply don't see it anymore.
And here's the thing, these two idiots are beloved. Don't make the same mistake, as your audience won't be as forgiving.
3. Cold Calling
Sorry Zack Morris, but cold calling is about as outdated as that flotation device you call a cell phone.
I mean really, was this ever really an effective – or accepted – method of prospecting?
I always knew A.C. Slater was the smarter one.
4. Trade Shows
Okay, so while these may still be effective so long as you adjust your strategy, it's still an awful lot to spend when you can experience greater return by implementing a dynamite content strategy.
You're paying for the space, any print collateral, not to mention the travel involved. (This poor little guy is crossing zip codes.)
5. Direct Mail
You know, that stuff that comes in the mailbox.
Most of us pay our bills electronically, rendering the mailbox a place often reserved for fulfilling our civic responsibility of recycling.
Hey...silver linings, right?
6. Print Advertising
With declining physical subscriptions, it's no wonder your daily newspaper is a lot skimpier than it used to be.
As a society, we no longer value the touch and feel so much as the ease of use.
This means only one thing; digital is in. Print is out.
(Sorry, not sorry Biebs. Couldn't resist.)
Whether it's in the form of direct mail, email, solicitation or phone calls, it's much harder for spam to actually grab our attention.
We've become experts at blocking out unwanted marketing messages.
But spam isn't going anywhere. Much like Twinkies, you simply can't get rid of it.
8. General Solicitation
Is it just me, or are those intrusive cell phone kiosks at the mall a cause for anxiety?
Do I make eye contact? Keep walking? I mean, these people all but put me in a full nelson to get a response.
Has this approach ever worked? Stop making it about you and help someone. There's plenty of people who need it if you'd quit chasing them away.
9. Cold Calling (2)
Let's face it, is there ever really a good time to talk to someone trying to sell you something when all you're trying to do is sit around in your PJ's and watch Duck Dynasty?
10. TV Advertising
Unless you're Coca-Cola or Budweiser, you know, household brands that utilized mass media to get where they are today, do you really have a shot with this medium?
The era of mass media marketing as an effective method of advertising is no longer effective for new companies. Those who it still works for have been grandfathered in.
Spend your dollars elsewhere in order to make a name for yourself.